#IM FIGHTING FOR MY LIFE THIS MORNING

[drurrito]

you in a honky tonk

an: all mistakes are mine for sure

warnings: alcohol...

----------------

It's your first night off in weeks, and you're spending it in some country bar in the middle of nowhere. Sam didn't need much to convince you. Your original plan was to waste away on the couch watching Gossip Girl reruns.

You're two drinks in by the time you're hitting a line dance with Sam and Carol. The rest of the crew watches on from the safety of a long table.

Clint has a trucker hat pulled down just enough to cover the bruise that some heavyweight painted around his eye last night. Bucky flicks the brim of the tan cowboy hat that he "borrowed" from a nearby table. Yelena keeps picking at the frayed bandage on her hand to the tune of Natasha scolding her every other minute for doing so.

"Stop your fussing, go out there already," with a huff, Yelena nods towards the dance floor. Natasha spares half a glance, and it's enough to catch the way your smile gleams under the colorful lighting. For a second, Natasha's heart thumps in double-time with the music.

"I don't dance," Natasha takes a swig from the beer bottle in her hand and focuses on it while the music slows and the dance floor begins to clear. The DJ pitches a one-liner about slowing it down for a couple songs to give people some reprieve. You only make it a few steps towards the table when Carol stops you with a hand on your arm.

"Wanna dance?" she asks like she already knows the answer. You match her lopsided smile with one of your own.

"I'll lead."

You take her hand and follow her back to the dance floor. Natasha watches the way you twirl Carol under your fingers with a natural ease. Even the way you two-step in tandem with Carol seems practiced, Natasha looks at Yelena's wounded hand to keep her mind from galloping off into the sunset.

Carol is hardly around. But when she is, it's a whole thing. She always hand-picks someone to be a lucky participant--last time it was Steve, this time it must be you. Of course Carol likes to go dancing--turning heads everywhere she goes has always been her M.O.

"Your face is going to get stuck like that," Yelena quips. She takes a sip of her drink and then licks at the Whiskey glossing her upper lip. Natasha spreads and flexes her fingers so they don't ball into fists.

"All eyes on her, just the way she likes it," Natasha does a piss-poor job of trying not to sound like a grump.

"Maybe," Yelena takes another sip, "she just likes to have fun, and doesn't care about who is watching."

Natasha entertains this with a hum and ignores the tender spot where Yelena's words dig. Carol just wanting to have some fun could (very likely) be true, but that would mean cutting this pity party a lot shorter than anticipated. Natasha's worked too hard these past few weeks to not indulge herself.

She is toying with the bottle in her hand when Yelena jabs an elbow into her arm. Natasha glares at her and then looks over in time to catch you dipping Carol as the song ends. She feels her jaw twitch as you pull Carol up with a laugh. As if on cue, Carol's hand finds the center of your chest and her lips stretch into a smile that is far too wide.

"Now's your chance, sestra," Yelena sings into the mouth of her glass but knows better than to look her sister in the eye at this point.

One time. Natasha smiled for a little too long after talking to you one time, and Yelena has never let her hear the end of it.

Carol and Sam slide into a seat at the table. You're about to do the same until a slow and sweet tune fills the room.

"I love this song," you look towards the dance floor to find people already pairing off.

"Need a dance partner?" Yelena hardly tries to hide her enthusiasm as she points at her sister. Natasha thinks about the force needed to bend Yelena's finger backwards so it looks like she's pointing at herself.

"If you'll have me."

You're earnestly smiling like you didn't just ask Natasha to embarrass herself in a bar filled with strangers.

"I would, but I can't dance," her eyes stay on yours. Even under the funky bar lighting, the way your eyes crinkle with your smile makes her stomach twist something awfully spectacular.

"That's okay, just follow my lead, you'll make it back in one piece," it's at this moment that Natasha realizes she can't even pretend like she can say "no" to you.

Natasha downs the rest of her liquid courage in one gulp to wordlessly take your hand without a second thought. Yelena bites her lip with amusement. Bucky puts his hat on your head when you're not looking. Natasha takes this opportunity to adjust it while she makes you promise not to get upset if she smashes your toes the entire song.

"You watched me get choke slammed by a guy five-times my size less than 24 hours ago and you're worried about stepping on my toes?"

Natasha hates how easy it is for you to make her laugh while she's looking down the barrel of public humiliation. You test the waters with a few steps before spinning Natasha into your side. You can feel how stiff she is against you.

"I got you."

The confidence in your voice makes Natasha's shoulders instantly depart from her ears. You sway and step together for a few beats and then raise both of your arms and spin yourself so you're in front of her again. For a split-second, Natasha thinks she's getting the hang of it until she steps on your foot while you're trying to twist her one way and then the other.

"It's okay, it's okay," you quickly soothe, pulling her closer than she’s ever been to anyone in the observable universe.

Natasha has no time for regret when you throw her arm around your neck with ease and spin the two of you across the dance floor. She can faintly hear the chorus as your hand slides up to her shoulder and your face is barely an inch from hers. Natasha can feel your other hand ghost the outline of her ass, travel the length of her thigh and arrive at the bend in her knee. Her breath is about to catch in her throat when you honest to god dip her like something out of a movie.

Without thinking, Natasha throws her head back like she's done this before as you lower her close to the ground.

"See? You're a natural," god, that makes her blush. Natasha's not even thinking about how her front melts against yours when you pull her back up and sway like that for a couple bars. You tangle and untangle yourselves again before letting her go with an encouraging "spin, spin!" and catch her with a proud smile that touches your ears.

Every time you hold out your hand, Natasha takes it without question. It makes sense when you grab her waist and her arm drapes over your shoulder. Where you go, she goes. You're a very good dancer. She starts to wonder if the chemistry she saw between you and Carol was all in her head.

"You trust me?" Natasha stifles a shiver when your lips brush against her ear.

"We're about to find out," she fights off another shiver when you respond by breathing out a laugh against her neck. You take a few steps with her, twirling her away from you. When you pull her back, you sweep her off her feet until she's almost upside down.

"Hold onto me," is all you say before bringing her back up. Natasha's death grip on your tricep relaxes when her eyes are back on you once more. She forgets the crowd and doesn't realize the song is ending as you spin her around and around until both of her feet are on solid ground.

"Not bad for your first dance. My toes made it out unscathed too!" You share a laugh on your way back to the table. You're both tapping a foot to the music as you talk. Natasha stiff arms Bucky so she can keep you in that hat on for a little longer.

[briankang]

“I think my greatest strength and specialty is my relentless effort...my perseverance.”

[lightbulb-warning]

THERE ARE LEECHES IN MY EYEBALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! grug can you hear me grugg grugg where are you grugg the DRILL grugg get the DRILL GRU-

[3-aem]

Lol you saying not to call your cat a good boy has me sent for whatever reason 🤣 That little sleepy face does look like one of a plant eating criminal 💕 I hope it doesn't give him an upset stomach

This is my fuzzy thief, he likes to steal blankets to make biscuits

SUCH A SWEET BOY OH MY GOD his lil nom 🥺🥺🥺 cats are so silly 😭😭

may he have all the blankets in the world

[famewolf]

it's been since my early 20s that I had in-person friends to actually hang out with regularly. and idk how to word it exactly, but making a push last year to actively try and forge friendships in person was such a good idea

I'd been missing that sense of physical community for so long and I finally feel like I have it back. and it's just a boon to my soul!!

[kylejsugarman]

it is so incredible how i stay up so late doing absolutely nothing important or productive and basically guarantee making myself miserable in the morning for no good reason 🫡 anyway goodnight, me and jesse are looking into room storage solutions

[skhardwarevers1]

does everything suck or is it just me being over dramatic

[downfallofi]

There was a moment this morning, when in the middle of building up to a one-sided rant against all of us at the breakfast table, but concentrating specifically on David, my sister cut him off when he tried to explain why his tile saw was outside and hadn't been moved in two months, and he tried explaining that it was waterproofed for construction work and she immediately cut that off by saying "OH IM SORRY IM JUST A STUPID GIRL, IM SO STUPID AND DONT KNOW ANYTHING" and dead ass that was not what the dude was saying at all; but, frustratingly, he and none of us ever like, push back on that stuff, and it all goes to placating someone into saying that no she's right everything is what she says it is, because only SHE thinks of this stuff; Only SHE is constantly thinking six steps ahead of all of us, and she is the only one who ever is thinking about taking care of two adults and three minors; Later in the same rant it was keeping all six people in the house alive. This, because there have been chores on the whiteboard for a month that they haven't done, or David hasn't done, or I would have done if I had help but there was nobody available because they're all at derby. And it breeds resentment and contempt. Just constantly simmering there, underneath the, like, tightness in my chest, like fuck you, lady. You are the ONLY one who ever thinks of anything ever, fuck you?

But we, I, just can't say that, we have to say no, you're right, no, you're not being an asshole.

[bluestjayy]

Maybe I'm just cursed 🤪

[throwaway-settings]

biting. biting. biting.

[autumnalhalcyon]

.

[ruruumin]

im going to EXPLODE bc of this ant infestation

[glass-trash-bab]

I need to talk about Hopkins more on here, especially at 2 a.m.

[thedevotionaltour]

i should actually blow up planet earth. forever.

[aenslem]

can we just take a moment and appreciate the fact that young puts the weapon down to use his fists, it needs to be physical for him, he needs to feel rush when he hurts him, and I love it, I am here for this, I am here for these two being wild about each other, it's just beautiful

if he wanted to kill rush, he would just shoot him, he does not want to kill him like 'kill him', but he wants to beat him so much, he wants to feel rush's life in his hands, that way he can have some control over whatever they have going on between each other, this 'need to beat you' mode is so good, I absolutely enjoy it

yeah, there are better things to enjoy in life than watching how two idiots on screen would fight, but there are some sports where people pay to watch those things, I just chose to enjoy it between a space drama, mostly caused by one of the jerks above

I am trying to imagine what their relationship would be like if the show was not cancelled, and they did become more, um, 'friendly' I guess I can call it friendly, less physical, which obviously sucks for me, I enjoy them getting physical. I think even when they are on good terms young would not be able to not be aggressive with rush in some ways. it would not be life threatening like in this scene, and rush would know it, but their arguments would be heated, and I think young would use his strength, maybe pushing rush to a wall a little too hard, stopping him by holding his arm a little too hard, I think whenever young would realize he is losing an argument he would try to get into rush's personal space, it's the way he shows his strength, he can't win with his mind, but he can win by force. he knows it, but also, I think he would not do it intentionally all the time, with rush it's always unintentional, heated and brought to the point where you can't control yourself and you give into it and act on impulse.

I think it would start with less and less aggression in fight, and more enjoy outdoing\outsmarting the other one. like playing a chess, like, you can be smart as rush and win, but you also need to be a good strategist, so young does have something to offer here, he can challenge rush, and I think he has the chance to win a game. so they would be around each other as if they play a chess. the more they would play this game the more they would want to win, they would make the other one learn some new tricks to win, I think they would make each other better by learning thing or two from one another, and by the end of the show they would actually enjoy having an argument, having a talk, maybe one day they would just talk, you know, like normal people, and it would not end up with one accusing the other one in sabotaging something, or lying, or whatever.

rush just crawling away, and young trying so hard to not finish what he started, you can see he wants to beat him more, but he is tired of this as well. have you seen a man who is so tired by trying so hard to not kill smb? love it

they are trying so hard to control things, but they can't even control themselves

as if it is not about control and power for you, man. when he offers rush to work together in 'darkness' he looses his shit and the talk goes the wrong way, just because young wanted rush to report to him, not him consulting his actions with rush. you want to control this man, but he is like a force of nature, you both are like two hurricanes meeting at some point and you either collide and become even more dangerous together or destroy each other and everything around you.

oh, and let's appreciate this screencap here, idk, I just love it, because I love men suffering, also robert carlyle has pretty hands there

he ain't wrong here. young does something on impulse and then regrets, he can be calm and strategic, but when it comes to something he cannot control, something like rush, he is all about emotions, bringing out the worst in him, and causing to act based on impulse rather than thinking about his actions through, he does it after, and it usually ends with regret, as we saw in 'justice'. yay my fav part <3

anyway, idk where I was going with this but here we are

oh and you know what I love about young? he is a man of force, using fists instead of words, but he actually listens if you talk to him, and even if he does not always understand it he tries and is not opposed to explore something new and learn and stay on an ancient ship with 10 more people and the man who framed him for murder just to find out what lies beyond it all. you may say it's because he feels responsible for those people, and yes, he does, but I also like to think that it's not just responsibility, but young just wanting to go to unknown places to see wonders of the universe.

[todayisafridaynight]

theres no better place for my ichi ringtone to go off than during my exam tbh